Can breakups end on a healthy note? Can those incessant lovers turn into friends? A survey done by a media house states that 8 out of 10 people said ex-lovers cannot be friends. For some, it seems tough, for some, it is not possible, but please remember the day you outlive your pain, you shall attain tranquility. And do not forget to fall in love, break your heart and fall in love again, it teaches us a lot.
How many of us become friends with our lovers after a catastrophic breakup? The pertinent question has surpassed many generations, decades and even cultures. We know one thing for sure, that when it comes to the matter of the heart, there is no right or wrong, it is all deeply emotional, perhaps irrational and sometimes hard-hitting. A survey done by a media house states that 8 out of 10 people said ex-lovers cannot be friends. Well, here’s what it states.
24-year-old Gaurav says, “Becoming friends with my ex-lover? HAHA! A big no! I did try to get along with my girlfriend after we broke up. We tried meeting after the breakup, but those emotions did not go. I had a sense of nostalgia, her face reminded me of the old times, beautiful memories. And it is also tough because it became hard for me to see her with some other guy. The truth is, it is not possible. For instance, if we stay connected, how will we move on? Anyway, the aftermath of a breakup is traumatizing. Seeing the same face, talking to her again or sharing concern shall not help in moving on.”
Love brings joy, happiness and indeed dependency. Knowing the fact that that there is someone out there for you, especially after a bad day at work, or when one suffers from health issues, they provide utter solace. But, all the happiness vanishes when one decides to get away from their lover. Now, let us probe why do breakups take place — the reasons could include from excessive possessiveness, cheating, to mental or physical abuse. In such cases becoming the best of friends post the breakup might be a little difficult. However, in cases such as lack of understanding, no scope of future due to inter-religion or inter-caste issues, lack of commitment, there still remains a chance to be friends with your ex-lovers.
Bulbul, 22, says, “My boyfriend was a Muslim; though, in the beginning, we made it clear to each other our relationship was not going to last for the rest of our life, after 6-months of dating, both of us starting talking about how difficult it will be to be separated after years? Soon, we realized that we should end this, because the more we stay with each other, the more memories we’d make. Initially, it was difficult, but as soon as I started accepting the reality, I, coming from an upper Hindu middle-class family and him from a conservative Muslim family, his family members would never accept me or anybody who’d not be a Muslim and that’s what he said. And today, we speak like old buddies, we share our old memories and cherish what we had.”
Of course, heartbreaks are painful, sometimes they even end up with mental illness; but did you die? Spend days with your best friends, have some cheesecake or burn those memories in the gym; go for a run, keep yourself occupied, read books, listen to good music and the best is go travel!! Find a positive way to spend your time and one day you’ll realize, “I have outlived the pain”, and at that moment you’ll realize I can be friends with the person I love or I can forgive them. Pain can be healed, rejection can be accepted, solace can again be achieved, but remember “you should and you must outlive your pain,” and the best people to help you overcome this are your friends.